Crazii Talk

     I think I’m done with love—or at least the kind of love that leaves me questioning my worth. After this time around, I’ve realized I may never find someone who loves me the way I love them. Maybe that’s partly my fault. I have a habit of seeing the good in people, their potential, while turning a blind eye to the red flags waving in plain sight.

Rant Incoming... 

So, we’re back. Back to writing some nonsense for random people on the internet to read.

Valentine’s Day has never been a source of joy for me. Regardless of the relationship I've been in, none of my partners have made the occasion particularly special. Not once have I experienced the cheesy, romantic gestures that others seem to revel in. In hindsight, it's clear that their actions, or lack thereof, were telling of their true feelings.

Allow me to depict this scene. On December 18th, 2020, it is a bright and early 7 in the morning. We experienced a small snowfall the evening prior. Mechanics were shoveling snow and rearranging vehicles outside the dealership where I was employed at the time. They reported hearing a really loud screech coming from beneath one of the vehicles, which, upon inspection, turned out to be a cat. After they freed her, they placed her in a little box along with many sweaters. Throughout my whole eight-hour shift, she sat in that box next me. No one came forward to claim the cat, despite my coworkers and I spreading the photo of it to everyone we knew who lived in the neighborhood all day long. as a result, I simply took her home. My partner and I did wind up getting into a major argument because of it. I remain utterly perplexing to this day as to why we did. Picture yourself becoming angry at someone only for rescuing a distressed animal.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ It is disheartening to witness how we have become accustomed to justifying actions that, in my personal opinion, should never be justified. It is a troubling phenomenon that raises concerns about our moral compass and the values we hold dear. It seems that we have become complacent in accepting behaviors that should be unequivocally condemned. It is important to question why we have reached this point. Is it due to a desensitization to certain issues? Have we become so accustomed to a constant barrage of questionable actions that we have lost sight of what is truly right and wrong? Or perhaps it is a result of the increasing polarization within our society, where people are willing to defend actions simply because they align with their own beliefs or ideologies. Regardless of the reasons, it is crucial that we take a step back and reflect on the consequences of. The events unfolding in the Middle Eastern countries have become widely known and discussed. It is no longer a secret that significant developments are taking place in this region. Have you ever noticed how certain topics have a way of creeping into our thoughts, even when we least expect it? It's as if they demand to be acknowledged, even if we don't necessarily want to give them our attention. 

I hate that this blog has turned into something so negative when I had zero intentions of doing so. I guess I am just an over emotional person having a human reaction to the horrors going on all over the world.

Life.So, where are we going from here? My generation is older than Google and because of technology we have access to so much knowledge but yet we simply sit back and watch the world burn. It defies logic on every level. When does society finally declare, "Enough!" as a whole? The bulk of the people in our country are not being adequately served by our government. People who fought for "freedom" are now being left to starve and sleep on the streets as our government prints more and more money to send elsewhere. Why is inflation not discussed when we donate billions to support war, yet they warned it would result from handing us those checks during covid? Nothing is being done about the fact that we are not paid livable wages, do not have access to affordable healthcare, that our educational system is...questionable, that the cost of housing is absolutely insane, that the cost of food is insane, that some states still do not have access to safe drinking water, that our news outlets are flat out lying to all of us, and that we are witnessing this unfold in real time. It's been a month of feeling helpless and feels angry off that I am being forced to work 40 hours a week knowing that the money I am making is going to pay for things that I do not agree with. To put it simply, I oppose war. Bombing medical facilities is never acceptable in my book. The government's wickedness shouldn't be paid for by innocent children, in my opinion. I reject the idea that the only way out is for everyone to murder each other. Insane and totally not acceptable. Tiktok has a horrible reputation among the elder generation. That it promotes falsehoods. Can you please clarify the live broadcasts? How can you convince us that the events unfolding before our very eyes are not real? How can we allow our news outlets to flat out lie about information and peddle so many false narratives? Seriously, what are we expected to do?

Let me start with, the last rant I was very emotional. It was very much in the moment for me. So, I want to go back and work through those thoughts/ feelings I had mentioned because that is what this is here for.

Over the past couple of years, I've come to realize that my mood consistently takes a nosedive during this particular time of year. I assumed at first that it was just my PMDD doing its normal emotional gymnastics. It's quite intriguing how often I overlook the significance of checking the date.

I don’t want to say I failed, but if I am being real with myself, I did. I started off this week with such a positive attitude, and as the week went on, it slowly dwindled away. While that positive attitude dwindled away, my anxiety started to creep in. There's so much going on around the world, and let’s add the fact that, as a female, I suffer from hormonal changes at that time of the month, so I’m extra sensitive. It can be hard sometimes to focus on doing things for myself. It can be difficult to try to do things that make me happy while so many people are struggling and others are going through traumatic life experiences. In no way am I a saint or a perfect person, but sometimes the amount of negativity expressed across social media platforms makes my heart hurt. I find myself getting stuck in a state of “what the fuck is the point”. I can only speak for myself when I say I can’t live in a bubble.

First and foremost, let’s acknowledge the importance of mental health. It is an integral part of our overall well-being. In today's fast-paced and demanding world, mental health has become an increasingly prevalent issue that affects countless individuals, myself included. The challenges we face in our daily lives can take a toll on both our mental well-being and physical health. From the pressures of work or school to the demands of personal relationships, it is no wonder that so many of us find ourselves grappling with mental health issues. It is important to acknowledge that we are not alone in this struggle.

Click here to add text.