Rant Incoming... 

Seriously, this is something I ask myself at least 3 times a day. I find myself making excuses for the fact that I must constantly explain things to someone that I personally think should be common sense. I get annoyed but then end up saying “well he was raised differently” or “the way I grew up wasn’t normal, most people don’t learn that as a child”. Now I don’t think there is anything wrong with being understanding, I do think it becomes a problem when being so understanding is starting to allow someone to manipulate you and play in your face.  

What is Weaponized Incompetence? 

A quick google search will tell you that it involves strategically avoiding responsibility. By feigning incompetence or lack of skill in a task, individuals can manipulate others into providing assistance, taking charge, or ceasing to assign them tasks. Now, as someone whose needs were almost never met as a child because in both households I spent time in, children were to be seen not heard. Asking for help to do something was not something that came naturally because I was always scared to be a bother. My mom had enough going on with taking care of my sick brother. My dad worked a lot so obviously I was going to be on my best behavior. I also wanted to make mom look like the best parent so that court could stop. Looking back at my thoughts it makes me sad because I have had to unlearn so many things. Asking for help is still something I am actively working on.  

Why do I get frustrated? 

I am starting to feel like being so understanding is getting me taken advantage of. I feel like because I can so easily put myself in other’s shoes I can forgive quickly, or I end up making excuses for the poor behavior. I mentioned earlier what thoughts I have and yea those are valid thoughts but at the end of the day it is your job as an adult to teach yourself things your parents didn’t get to. You can’t go through life just ignoring all the things you don’t understand or know how to do. Ok, so your mother didn’t show you how to properly clean a bathroom. YouTube exists, go sit down and watch a video to show you. There is absolutely no reason why anyone over the age of 25 hasn’t learned how to clean a toilet properly. There is no reason why if you see dust collecting you don’t think to clean it. There’s no reason why if you see a garbage filling, you don’t just take it out. If you can remember to do your “daily's” in whatever stupid game you’re playing, you can remember to keep up with your house. If you can google how to solve something in a game, you can google how to fix something in the house. It just becomes more and more unattractive to have to explain things over and over to someone, especially when it’s things that you think are just common sense. It becomes insanely unattractive watching someone that has zero motivation and had no initiative in household duty in general. They just constantly make excuses for why they haven’t done something instead of just taking accountability and doing better. Hearing someone say they are trying while actively not actually trying to do better just breeds resentment and that is a topic for another day because that can be a long rant.  

My point? 

I don’t have one really. I just needed to rant because there gets to the point where just talking it out doesn’t work. It’s not about airing out someone’s dirty laundry and it’s more about; I know I am not the only person dealing with this. I should be able to vent about things and not feel bad about how I feel. My feelings matter too, and it is something that I need to write out to remind myself occasionally.  

Am I overreacting?